There’s something no one tells you about trauma recovery: healing doesn’t mean going back to who you were before it happened. Sometimes, it means becoming someone entirely new, someone with stronger boundaries, sharper clarity, and a deeper sense of purpose.
That’s what post traumatic growth can look like. And it’s not about turning pain into a silver lining. It’s about allowing space for something meaningful to grow in the aftermath.
For many women of color, trauma isn’t a single event — it’s a collection of physical or psychologically threatening events and responses to them that are passed down through generations. Healing doesn’t always happen in your 20s. Sometimes it starts later, after decades of putting everyone else first. Or after your body finally says “no more.” Or when life transitions, like a career shift or a significant loss, crack things open.
This is your reminder that it’s never too late to heal. And growth is still possible — even when the hurt happened a long time ago.
What Are the 5 Phases of Post-Traumatic Growth?
Researchers have identified five common phases of post traumatic growth. However, it’s important to remember that growth isn’t linear. You don’t have to follow these in order or complete every stage to be “doing it right.” The phases of prost-traumatic growth are:
- Struggle – You experience trauma or loss that shakes your sense of safety, self, or worldview. This is often the survival mode phase.
- Disruption – You realize your old ways of coping don’t work anymore. Things feel uncertain or out of control. You might experience anxiety, depression, or a sense of disconnection.
- Re-evaluation – You start questioning your beliefs, values, relationships, and identity. This is where grief, anger, and clarity often surface.
- Reconstruction – You begin building a new sense of meaning. This can include exploring your purpose, changing how you relate to others, or setting boundaries you’ve never felt allowed to set.
- Growth – You come out on the other side with new strength, perspective, and tools — not because the trauma didn’t hurt, but because you made space for your healing.
These phases aren’t a checklist. They’re a framework. If you’re somewhere between “still in it” and “figuring it out,” that’s valid too.
What Is an Example of Post-Traumatic Growth?
Post traumatic growth looks different for everyone, especially across different cultural experiences.
For example:
A woman of color who grew up in a household where emotions were seen as weakness might experience post traumatic growth by learning to name her feelings, communicate needs without guilt, and hold space for her inner child. That’s growth.
Someone who experienced burnout after years of being “the strong one” in every family and workplace crisis may learn to rest without shame, unlearn martyrdom, and reimagine success on her own terms. That’s growth too.
Healing from trauma doesn’t always look like a dramatic transformation. It might be the first time you say “no” and mean it. It can also show up as you crying without apologizing for the first time. Additionally, it can be the moment you realize you’re allowed to protect your peace without having to give an explanation.
What Is the Controversy With Post-Traumatic Growth?
The idea of post traumatic growth is not without criticism — and for good reason.
Some argue it’s been misused to pressure people into “finding meaning” in their trauma, or to suggest that pain should make us stronger. Others point out that the concept can be dismissive, especially when it’s used to justify systemic harm or excuse injustice.
For women of color, this is especially complicated. We’ve often been told to be strong, to be grateful, and to just “get over it.” So when the idea of growth is weaponized, it can feel like more of the same.
Here’s the truth:
Post traumatic growth is not about romanticizing suffering.
It’s about reclaiming your agency when you’re ready and on your terms.
You don’t have to turn your trauma into anything beautiful for your pain to be valid. But if healing does create shifts in you, if you do feel yourself growing into someone new — that deserves to be honored.
What Is the Difference Between PTSD and Post-Traumatic Growth?
While they’re related to trauma as the same root cause, PTSD and post traumatic growth are not opposites. They can even exist at the same time.
PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) is a mental health condition that can develop after experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event. Symptoms may include flashbacks, hypervigilance, emotional numbness, panic attacks, and avoidance.
Post traumatic growth on the other hand, refers to the positive psychological change that can occur as a result of working through PTSD. It doesn’t cancel out the pain, it just means that something new has emerged alongside it.
Think of it this way:
PTSD is the wound.
Post traumatic growth is what happens when the scar becomes part of your story — not the whole story.
You can experience both. You can still experience triggers and simultaneously still be healing. You can still feel sadness and experience growth from healing. You don’t have to choose.
Post Traumatic Growth for Women of Color
For women of color, post traumatic growth is often about unlearning survival as a personality trait. It’s about giving yourself permission to stop performing perfection, strength, and sacrifice.
It’s not about pretending the trauma didn’t shape you. It’s about realizing you get to decide how the story continues.
That might mean…
- Choosing softness without shame
- Resting without guilt
- Letting go of relationships that don’t honor your wholeness
- Naming your truth, even if your voice shakes
- Finally grieving what you were taught to minimize
Therapy is one space where this kind of growth can be held. And when that space is culturally affirming because your therapist actually sees you — the healing can go even deeper.
Ready to Take That Step?
At Melanated Women’s Health, Jaimee Sheppard, LPC, offers trauma-informed therapy rooted in compassion, clarity, and realness. She works with adults who are ready to break away from generational trauma patterns, process childhood wounds, and rebuild their lives in a way that honors them.
Whether you’re navigating trauma from childhood, community violence, intergenerational wounds, or relationship harm or you’re simply ready to stop carrying life’s burdens alone — Jaimee will meet you where you are.
She understands the nuance of healing as a woman of color. And she knows that sometimes, growth isn’t loud. Sometimes, it looks like breathing easier in your own body.
You don’t have to make something beautiful out of your pain.
But if you’re ready to explore what growth can look like — on your own terms — therapy can help.
Book with trauma therapist Jaimee Sheppard, LPC at Melanated Women’s Health.
She truly gets it, and she’s here to support your healing.
Get Started Today
Improve Your Mental Wellbeing and Find Peace in Everyday Life With Help From Qualified Black Therapists & Therapists of Color
