A Helping Hand: How to Help a Loved One with Depression

Watching someone you care about struggle with depression can feel overwhelming. You want to help, but you’re not sure how. If you’re wondering how to help a loved one with depression, you’re already taking a great first step.

We’ll review practical tips to help a loved one with sever depression, postpartum depression, as well as those experiencing both anxiety and depression.

Let’s dive into what you can do to truly support them in their journey toward healing.

How to Help a Loved One with Depression?

If you’re asking yourself how to help a loved one with depression, you might be feeling lost. You don’t want to say the wrong thing or make them feel worse. And let’s be honest—sometimes, no matter what you do, it feels like nothing helps. But here’s the truth: You don’t have to find the magic words that will “fix them”.  You just have to be there. Depression isn’t something that a person can just “snap out of,” and it’s not a sign of weakness. It’s a real, complex condition that requires understanding, patience, and support. 

The good news? You don’t need to have all the answers. Your presence and willingness to support them makes a world of difference.

Here are some practical ways to help:

1. Start by Listening Non-judgementally (Without Trying to “Fix” It)

People with depression often feel misunderstood or like they’re a burden. One of the best things you can do is simply listen.

• Avoid giving advice unless they ask for it.
• Let them talk without interrupting or trying to “fix” their feelings.
• Say things like, “I’m here for you” or “That sounds really hard—how can I support you?”

2. Encourage, but Don’t Pressure

It’s tempting to try and push someone toward solutions—“Just get out more!” “Try exercising!”—but this can feel invalidating. Instead, gently encourage small steps without pressure.

• Offer to go for a short walk with them instead of telling them they should exercise.
• Invite them to a low-pressure activity like watching a movie together.
• Remind them that seeking help is okay—and strong, not weak.

3. Help with the Small Stuff

Depression can make even basic tasks—like cooking or doing laundry—feel impossible. If you want to know how to help a loved one with depression, offering practical help can be a game-changer.

• Bring them a meal or help them order food if they don’t have the energy to cook.
• Offer to run an errand or help tidy up their space.
• If they need help making an appointment with a therapist or doctor, offer to assist.

4. Check In Regularly

Depression can make people withdraw. Even if they don’t always respond, keep checking in.

• A simple “Thinking of you today” text can mean more than you realize.
• Let them know they don’t have to respond, but you’re there when they’re ready.
• Remind them that they are not alone.

5. Learn About Depression

Understanding what depression is (and isn’t) helps you support them better.

• Depression is not just sadness; it’s a medical condition.
• It affects motivation, energy, and sometimes even physical health.
• It’s not something they can just “cheer up” or “snap out of.”

The more you educate yourself, the more compassionate and patient you can be.

How to Help a Loved One with Postpartum Depression?

Postpartum depression (PPD) is a real and serious condition that affects many new parents. It’s more than just the “baby blues”—it can make someone feel deeply sad, anxious, or disconnected from their baby. If you’re wondering how to help a loved one with postpartum depression, here are some ways to provide support:

1. Validate Their Feelings

Avoid saying things like, “But you have a beautiful baby!” Instead, acknowledge their feelings:

• “I know this is really hard, and I’m here for you.”
• “You’re not a bad parent for feeling this way.”

2. Offer Practical Help

• Cook a meal or bring groceries.
• Offer to watch the baby so they can sleep or take a break.
• Help with household chores.

3. Encourage Professional Help

PPD is treatable, but many parents feel guilty about seeking help. Gently encourage them to talk to a doctor or therapist. Offer to go with them to an appointment if they’re nervous.

4. Be Patient and Present

• Check in often and remind them they’re not alone.
• Avoid judgment and just listen.
• Let them know they are doing their best, and that’s enough.

How to Help a Loved One with Anxiety and Depression?

Anxiety and depression often go hand in hand, making things even more overwhelming. If you’re figuring out how to help a loved one with anxiety and depression, here are some key strategies:

1. Recognize Their Triggers

Anxiety can be triggered by certain situations, so knowing what makes them anxious can help.

• If social events stress them out, don’t force them to go—offer support instead.
• If they have specific fears, ask how you can help them navigate them.

2. Help Them Ground Themselves

Simple grounding techniques can help during anxious moments:

• Encourage deep breathing exercises.
• Try the 5-4-3-2-1 method: Name 5 things you see, 4 things you feel, 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell, 1 thing you taste.

3. Be a Safe Space

• Let them vent without judgment.
• Remind them they’re not a burden.
• Be patient, even when their emotions feel unpredictable.

How to Help a Loved One with Severe Depression?

Severe depression can be incredibly isolating and even life-threatening. If your loved one is struggling with severe depression, here’s how to support them:

1. Take Warning Signs Seriously

If they express thoughts of self-harm or suicide, do not ignore it.

• Ask directly: “Are you thinking about hurting yourself?”
• Encourage them to seek immediate professional help.
• Call a crisis hotline or emergency services if needed.

2. Offer to Help Them Find Professional Support

• Look up therapists, support groups, or hotlines together.
• Offer to drive them to appointments if needed.

3. Be Present, Even in Silence

Sometimes, they won’t want to talk—but just sitting with them can be comforting.

• Watch a movie together.
• Sit in silence but let them know you’re there.

4. Take Care of Yourself Too

Supporting someone with severe depression can be emotionally draining. Make sure you have your own support system in place.

Final Thoughts on How to Help a Loved One with Depression

You don’t have to have all the answers, and you don’t have to be perfect. 

Just showing up and being a consistent presence in their life makes a difference. If you’re wondering how to help a loved one with depression, remember:

• Listen without judgment.
• Offer practical support.
• Encourage professional help when needed.
• Remind them they are not alone.

Your love, patience, and presence can help more than you realize. And sometimes, the most powerful thing you can say is: 

I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.